


Dive

by Meatball42



Series: Burning Up a Sun: One-shots from Abandoned Universes [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality Spectrum, Episode: s02e12 Fragments, F/M, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Off-screen, Pre-Episode: s01e04 Cyberwoman, Pre-Series, Romantic Angst, Sexual Confusion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-14 17:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5751742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/pseuds/Meatball42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto makes a choice to protect Lisa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before S1E4 Cyberwoman

**Author's Note:**

> These scenes, and one more which I'll post once the grammar is cleaned up a bit (oh the horrors), are set in my unfinished and abandoned universe wherein Ianto identifies as asexual and is mostly sex-repulsed. However, he still adopts the fanonically popular tactic of sleeping with Jack to disguise moving Lisa into the basement.
> 
>  
> 
> **Trigger warnings are on each chapter. Please read them if you think you might need to!**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ****TRIGGER WARNING** Graphic details of ace character being very uncomfortable with sexual activity during and afterwards.**

It was nearly eight in the morning before Ianto was able to visit Lisa. He’d woken up at six-thirty, the habit of decades, blushed and stammered his way past Jack and barely managed to stay under the speed limit to get back to his cramped flat, where he’d scrubbed and scrubbed in the shower for a solid twenty minutes. As he entered Lisa’s underground room, Ianto could still feel the ghost of Jack’s fingers on his back, Jack’s tongue in his mouth, and he didn’t even want to think about why he kept tugging on his boxers.

His reply to Lisa’s greeting was terse and short, and she didn’t say anything until after he had checked over the units and injected her daily medications. He took a deep breath and stepped up beside the unit so she could see his face.

“How’d it go?” she asked softly.

Ianto couldn’t meet her eyes. He nodded awkwardly and hoped… but no, she deserved to have her questions answered. It was the least he could do.

“I did it,” he said quietly, ignoring the heaviness in his throat, the twisting of his gut. “I- I slept with him.”

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Lisa’s voice rose slightly, making him smile. She always was protective, even though she was the one who was oh-so-vulnerable right now.

“No.” Ianto tried to smile, to alleviate her fears. It felt weak, but at least it was present. “We didn’t- he guessed it was my first time with a man, so he said we wouldn’t- wouldn’t be too adventurous.” He cringed, memories of the night before flooding his mind. Jack’s mouth on his nipple before he’d tugged away, his  _ hand _ , his slimy hand stroking them both.

“Are you okay?” Lisa’s voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“I’m fine. It- I chose this,” he said firmly, trying to convince both Lisa and himself. “It’s on my terms. And it wasn’t really that bad.”

Lisa’s expression was soft, compassionate. He tried not to think it was pitying. “You don’t have to do this, Ianto. Just tell him you don’t want to do it again, use any excuse. Loads of people have second thoughts after having sex with someone.”

“Not with him,” Ianto denied. “He’d pursue me like he has been, try to convince me. Best case, he’d be suspicious, worst case, he’d be resentful and suspicious. Neither bodes well for us.”

Lisa’s hand flexed. He took it, feeling a pang at how cold it was. She squeezed his hand lightly. “How are you  _ really _ ? I know you’re holding something in. I always know,” she winked.

Two weeks ago they’d have giggled over Lisa’s know-it-all reputation, the irony due to her actually caring and respectful attitude. Today, Ianto barely managed a quirk of the lips. “I always thought that- if I decided to try sex… I wanted my first time to be with you.” He blushed. “Dumb and romantic, I know.”

“No, it’s romantic and lovely,” Lisa corrected, squeezing his fingers. “But you know what? Sex isn’t what’s romantic,” she said confidently.

“What?”

“You may have had sex with him first,” Lisa said, looking him dead in the eye, “but you made love to me first. And I think that’s more important.”

Ianto kissed her and said his goodbyes, feeling a good deal better. He still wished that Lisa could have been the first- and only- person he shared his body with, but it did mean much more to him that she was the only one who could ever touch his heart.


	2. Would-have-been Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ****TRIGGER WARNINGS** Sexual confusion and guilt, ace character getting weird sexual feelings he's not completely comfortable with**

Ianto slumped against the outer wall of a warehouse, deep in shadows, one hand on his knee to keep himself upright and the other over his chest. His eyes were open wide and his mouth clamped shut, not blinking, barely breathing, as he tried to figure out what had just happened.

He needed to get into Torchwood to save Lisa. His wonderful Lisa, gentle, funny, strong and compassionate. He loved her. So why was he feeling like this?

Ianto had managed to bring Captain Harkness to the warehouse where he’d trapped the pterodactyl. He’d distracted it while Harkness had snuck up on it and then caught the captain when he’d fallen. The larger man’s weight had knocked the breath out of him, but he was laughing from the adrenaline high and the silliness of the pterodactyl dropping to the warehouse floor when he’d looked down and realized he was on top of Harkness.

In that moment, Ianto felt like his entire body had flushed. His heart sped up, his mouth watered, his eyes had been drawn to Harkness’s lips like magnets. Every breath that entered his lungs seemed to fill him with anticipation, like he was teetering on the edge of a diving board. Suddenly he noticed how blue Harkness’s eyes were and he wanted- he wanted-

Ianto shook his head, hating the tingling in his gut, in his fingertips. He’d wanted to kiss the captain- no, he’d wanted to eat him alive. The hand on his chest moved to his stomach, which suddenly felt hollow.

He closed his eyes hard and remembered Lisa. Her warm smile, the way she curled onto the toilet seat to paint her toenails, her eyes when they flashed in anger. His chest filled with warmth, with love. He loved her.

The tingling in his gut slipped away and his heart finally stopped pounding. The only thing that wouldn’t go away was the memory of Harkness’s vivid blue eyes, and the itching in his fingertips like they wanted to touch.

The door to the pterodactyl’s warehouse clanged open across the lot and Ianto shrunk back even more into the shadows. Harkness stepped out slowly, cradling the sedated pterodactyl with care. A beep, then the rear compartment of the Range Rover popped open and Harkness put the dinosaur down inside. He walked around to the driver’s side and drove off.

Ianto took a shaky breath and willed himself to calm down. It must have been the adrenaline rush, he decided. He pushed himself of the wall and began the walk back to his and Lisa’s temporary home. He would have to be up early tomorrow.


End file.
